A couple of weeks ago I commented on a piece by Anna Quindlen about living in the moment. Another dimension of those observations occurred to me this last week.
I am sure that not everyone who is in my baby boomer age bracket will agree but I realized that enjoying each moment of one's life as it exists is jeopardized by "planning for the future". Don't tell my college graduating kids that I said this, but planning for the future can be hazardous to one's happiness.
I used to drive myself crazy as a young woman looking for "something to look forward to", as if what was now was not good enough to pay attention to and needed to be rushed through to get to some future nirvana out there.
Well finally at age 49 I am almost over that destructive habit. What's wrong with today? As it happens, nothing. Yes, in the big picture there are all sorts of issues to be dealt with but why complicate them further? An old habit of my mind was to project happiness on to something out there....... where, when I finally arrived, Boy, it would be great! Problem was as soon as I got to that place another nirvana would rise up just over the horizon to tease me with its fresh promise of happiness. So, back on the road I would go again.
It is endless, so I have stepped off that ladder. I am sick of climbing and that fatigue instead of making my eyes shut, has woken me up. Thank God. There is no Emerald City just over the next hill, and even if there was, rushing there would cause me to miss some pretty damn good days that I happen to be living right now.
Paris is being teased by hints of spring, the grey days are beginning to be muscled out by some shy sunshine and brave daffodils. The long yellow brick road that I had made into a hamster's wheel has finally come to a dead end. Dead end has a bad sound - let me rephrase that - it is being blocked by a sea of daffodils that sprouted up screaming, look where you are right now!!
You are so right about Right Now!There are so many good moments and I am experiencing a great need to slow down TIME! I suppose its only natural, now that I am already in my second "half-century"!I've now turned into my parents, who kept telling me to "stop and smell the roses". Shelby (13) regularly "can't wait" for summer, while she is still in school; and for school to start when it's summer; for her birthday; for Christmas; for spring break...now I find myself repeating the old adage to her! I guess, time is wasted on youth, and I am going to just worry about getting the most out of each of my days...right now!
Posted by: Carrie | March 17, 2008 at 05:20 AM