I presume you all have heard the above expression - probably from your mother - at least that's where I remember hearing it. Invoking it was followed by what the subject of the "push" finally did to fix his problem. It would go something like this: "she dithered and stalled about cleaning her room, the mess was overwhelming and she felt like she was drowning in clutter, but when push came to shove, she finally just dove in and got it done all in one fell swoop"
I think I am at my shove moment or closing in on it. I am 50 years old (yikes, just the sound of that number is scary) and have dibbled and dabbled in about 16 (favorite family code number for "lots") different careers, avocations and passionate pursuits, having achieved some measure of expertise and success in each, but NOW I must settle on the ONE that will count and become my true, rest of my life way to make a living and self actualize at the same time. No wonder I am paralyzed.
You see, starting a new life at 50, in Paris, as a foreigner with american accented fumbling French , may sound romantic and sometimes it is, but it is also a bit like diving into cold water blind folded. Especially when you were raised as I was to "be careful and search for the secure thing out there". My poor mom obviously was preaching to two deaf ears attached to my head.
So this week as my French boyfriend has taken off with his son for a father/son bonding in the woods session, I have decided to shove myself towards..........something. That's just the problem, I don't know what the answer is but this week I intend to find out.
Stay tuned.
By the way - this photo was taken while driving on a beautiful country road in the Loire Valley last May. Quite symbolic when I think about it - beautiful road (my new Parisian life) leading to................where???(my future).
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