Have I mentioned how frick-en hard it is to speak French lately? I have been here coming up to 4 years - FOUR YEARS - I can't hardly believe it. If you would have asked me back then how long it was going to take me to speak fluent French I would have told you "Certainly after 3 years or so".
Wrong.
I now know the correct answer to how long it will take to speak fluent French:
Never.
Or at least close to never.
Yes I sort of speak French now, yes I understand lots of what is being said, yes I have made beaucoup de progress - but it is not enough.
I cannot tell you how beyond frustrating it is to be in the middle of a lively dinner conversation where you are the only one not laughing at the jokes - you are too busy spending your whole night getting the gist (but little meat) of what is being said. The funny thing is that most of my French friends think that I speak French - I really have them fooled. Its just because I kind of get what they are saying and am capable of responding like a 3 year old.
It is not the most satisfying way to communicate and it is downright boring - for me and the polite person stuck next to me at the dinner table.
I don't know how much longer I can live just on the outside of the rest of the world. I used to think that this would be fun - what the hell was wrong with me?
They say that when your frustration gets to the breaking point that is when a breakthrough is juuuusssssssssst around the corner.
Okay, I'm ready.
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