"Wow, it would be so fun to work at the zoo!"
The immediate response from my well meaning mother to my 7 year old self was the helpful, "Oh Mary, so many people want to work at the zoo, it is really hard to even think about doing a job like that because it is so fun. Better to set your sights on a job that you have a better chance of getting. Jobs at the zoo are for the lucky few....."
I cannot even begin to tell you the effect that this kind of thinking has had on me for the 46 years that followed.
I know that my mother meant well. Her intentions were pure. She was offering protection from disappointment and failure. What's wrong with that?
Plenty as it turns out.
What I took as truth from this protective reality check was:
#1 - the fun jobs were for the lucky few who were part of a group who's membership is a birthright and I did not belong.
#2 - by extension, the grown up job that I would someday have would not be fun. Remember, fun was for the lucky kids.
Add to this propaganda some of my mother's other, also well meaning, messages that I should dream of staying home full time with my future children and whatever job I eventually chose should be practical and something I could do part time along with baby making. Fun (code for intrinsically interesting and fulfilling) was not part of the equation.
Okay, I know this was not mean or abusive brainwashing and I can't say that as a result I lived a failed life as an accountant BUT it sure threw up some steep roadblocks in my psyche.
In spite of my mother's warnings, I ended up doing pieces of some of the fun jobs along the way and the outside world would probably never guess the prison cell of self limitation in which I have been living.
But today, I have taken a very big step towards slaying this old dragon.
In mid August, I will officially be one of the lucky kids. No, I will not be a zookeeper, except metaphorically.
About 4 years ago I heard of what I thought sounded like a dream job and I dared to imagine myself in it.
Through a circuitous path (aren't they all) the opportunity came my way to put myself forward and lo and behold I came out on top of the competition. I will soon direct a global center for leadership with locations in France, Singapore and the Middle East.
I'm still pinching myself. I get to do something that I really believe will be fun, not to mention incredibly interesting and challenging.
The important lesson from all this though is to NEVER believe that you don't deserve to work at the zoo. You can if you want to.
NOTHING is reserved for only the lucky few.
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